Dissolving the Chains of Attachment

I've been writing about the difference between love, which is the pure Source-energy expressing itself through our heart chakras, and attachment, which is the feeling of dependence on another to love us that we feel when we confuse actual love with the idea of love.

Human relationships usually contain both love and attachment. Our challenge is to recognize the difference and, when a relationship ends or must change form, to allow the love to survive but dissolve our feeling of attachment to the other person. By so doing, we can transform our emotions of grief, anger, resentment, sadness, or even despair into acceptance.

From my own experience, I know that we can use meditation and visualization to make this transformation. It helps to have an experienced guide in this process, to assist in bringing in spiritual energy that actually changes the frequency of your emotions. But you can also do this on your own, just as you can meditate on your own.

Here is one method I use.

Start by entering a meditative or deeply relaxed and focused state. How you do this is up to you; use any method that you find effective.

Now, visualize yourself and the other person facing each other. Picture your attachment connecting you to this person like cords or chains of light, binding you to one another.

If you can, express your love and gratitude to the other person for the good aspects of your relationship, the love and learning you received from it.

Then visualize a brilliant beam of white Light slicing through the cords, freeing you both. (An alternative method is to ask a spiritual figure whom you trust to cut the cords with a sword of white light. It could be an angel, your own God-Self, Mary, Jesus, Buddha, a guide – any Being of higher consciousness with whom you feel a connection.) The white light represents pure divine love, which never harms, but can transform the nature of our feelings.

Watch what happens. You may see yourself and your beloved drift apart, or some other image may come to mind.

Release the other person, knowing that he or she carries the love and gratitude received from you. This does not end your connections as souls, which is based on love. It only ends the human attachment to having a particular relationship with that person in this lifetime.

Finally, turn your attention to your own heart. Picture white light filling it, soothing any pain there and filling any holes left behind by the attachments you have just released. Feel the warmth of the light, and know that it is pure love healing your wounded heart. Bask in that light as long as you like, and when you feel ready, open your eyes and see how the world looks and feels to you now.

This is a beautiful meditation that allows love to survive, while releasing attachments that keep you bound to unhappiness.

If you want to do more work on love, attachment and relationships, I highly recommend a book by psychospiritual therapist John Welwood called Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. He includes great exercises to help develop your ability to access love directly from within, which in turn strengthens relationships.

Love, Light and Joy,

Susan